Scientists often say that penis size doesn’t matter—as long as it works. That’s cute. But let’s be honest, the guys doing that research probably have small penises.

So, in the spirit of curious (and slightly petty) science, we pulled out the ruler, the magnifying glass, and possibly a microscope to rank the top 10 small penis countries based on average size. No judgment—just data. And a little chuckle at the global battle of the bulge… or lack thereof.

10. Japan

Coming in at number 10 on the small penis rankings, Japan ,an island nation in East Asia, sitting quietly in the Pacific Ocean like that polite kid in class who never causes trouble—but might secretly own a samurai sword. It stretches from the chilly Sea of Okhotsk in the north all the way down to the warm waters of the East China Sea and Philippine Sea in the south. It’s a country known for sushi, anime, vending machines that sell everything, and apparently… something else that’s a little short.

Population: 127 million

Average penis size: 5.0 inches

Japan’s all about minimalism—tiny apartments, compact cars, and with a penis size of 5.0 inches apparently, travel-sized dicks. Efficient? Yes. Impressive? Not even a little.

9. Sri Lanka

Sri Lanka, officially known as the Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka (try saying that three times fast), is an island nation in South Asia. It’s located in the Indian Ocean, just off the southern tip of India, separated by the Gulf of Mannar and the Palk Strait. Coming in at number 9 on the small penis rankings, Sri Lanka is culturally close to India, but geographically doing its own thing—kind of like a cousin who moved out but still shows up at every wedding.

Population: 21 million

 

Average penis size: 4.30 inches

Sri Lanka is proof that good things come in small packages—and so are its men. 4.30 inches of national pride wrapped in tropical charm and polite disappointment.

8. China

China, officially known as the People’s Republic of China (PRC), is a massive country in East Asia—and the most populated nation on Earth. Spanning over 9.6 million square kilometers, it’s either the third or fourth largest country depending on who’s doing the measuring… which feels ironic, given the subject at hand.

Population: 1.4 billion

Average penis size: 4.29 inches

China may dominate in manufacturing, technology, and global influence—but when it comes to penis size, it’s more microchip than megabyte. At 4.29 inches, it’s safe to say they’re not exporting anything XXL

7. The Philippines

The Philippines, officially the Republic of the Philippines, is an archipelagic country in Southeast Asia. Floating in the western Pacific Ocean, it’s made up of about 7,641 islands spread across three main regions: Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao. The capital is Manila, but the most crowded spot is Quezon City—both part of the ever-busy Metro Manila.

Population: 101 million

Average penis size: 4.21 inches

Manny Pacquiao has faced steroid rumors for years, and if there’s any truth to them, let’s just say his manhood may have retreated into witness protection. With an average size of just 4.21 inches, Looks like the only thing packing heat on those islands is the chili vinegar.

6.Taiwan

Taiwan, officially known as the Republic of China, is a state in East Asia with some serious neighbor drama. To the west is the People’s Republic of China, to the northeast is Japan, and to the south, the Philippines. Despite being one of the most densely populated places on Earth and a global tech powerhouse, Taiwan still isn’t a member of the United Nations—making it the world’s most successful outsider.

Population: 23 million

Average penis size: 4.20 inches

Taiwan’s rocking a solid 4.20 inches on average, which is great if you’re measuring USB sticks. For everything else… ladies, grab your passports.

5. Myanmar

5th place on the small penis scale, Myanmar, officially the Republic of the Union of Myanmar (and formerly known as Burma), is a Southeast Asian country tucked between giants. It borders India and Bangladesh to the west, China to the north and northeast, and Thailand and Laos to the east. With mountains, temples, and a complicated political history, Myanmar is as culturally rich as it is geographically wedged in.

Population: 53 million

Average penis size: 4.19 inches

Myanmar men may chew betel all day long, but they’re not exactly packing spice below the belt. At 4.19 inches, that’s more cherry pit than eggplant.

4. Indian

India, officially the Republic of India, is a massive South Asian country known for its cultural richness, crowded trains, and spiritual exports. It’s the seventh-largest country by area and home to over 1.3 billion people, making it the second most populous country on Earth—and the largest democracy. Surrounded by the Indian Ocean, Arabian Sea, and Bay of Bengal, India also shares borders with Pakistan, China, Nepal, Bhutan, Bangladesh, and Myanmar. That’s a whole lot of neighbors and even more opinions.

Population: 1.3 billion

Average penis size: 4.03 inches

3. Thailand

Holding the #3 spot for small penis size, Thailand, officially the Kingdom of Thailand and formerly known as Siam, sits right in the heart of the Southeast Asian Indochinese peninsula. It’s made up of 76 provinces, covering around 198,000 square miles, with a population of over 68 million. That makes it the 50th largest country by area and the 21st most populous. Its buzzing capital, Bangkok, is famous for temples, traffic, and nightlife that doesn’t ask too many questions.

Population: 68 million

Average penis size: 4 inches

Thailand is home to the world’s largest gold Buddha, the biggest crocodile farm, the largest restaurant, the longest suspension bridge, and the tallest hotel.It seems Thailand loves things big. Unfortunately, that enthusiasm didn’t extend to their national average downstairs. Just 4 inches? Buddha wept.

2. Cambodia

Cambodia, also known as Kampuchea and officially the Kingdom of Cambodia, is tucked into the southern portion of the Indochina peninsula in Southeast Asia. It spans about 69,898 square miles, bordered by Thailand to the northwest, Laos to the northeast, Vietnam to the east, and the Gulf of Thailand to the southwest. Known for ancient temples and recent turmoil, Cambodia balances deep history with a very young population.

Population: 16 million

Average penis size: 3.95 inches

With 50% of Cambodia’s population under the age of 15, maybe it’s no surprise the national average is just 3.95 inches. That’s not just small—it’s barely past training mode. Oddly enough, it’s also become a favorite vacation spot for Catholic priests. Coincidence? Probably not.

1. South Korea

And the small penis world champion, South Korea, officially the Republic of Korea is a country in East Asia part of the Korean Peninsula and lying to the east of the Asian mainland. The name Korea is derived from Goguryeo which was one of the great powers in East Asia during its time ruling most of the Korean Peninsula, Manchuria, parts of the Russian Far East and Inner Mongolia. It comprises an estimated 51.4 million residents distributed over 38,750 sq mi. Its capital and largest city is Seoul with a population of around 10 million.

Population: 51 million

Average penis size: 3.8 inches

They’ve given us K-pop, K-dramas and cutting-edge tech. But here’s something you won’t see on a tourism brochure: South Korea holds the crown for the smallest national average penis size. At a whopping 3.8 inches, they’ve clearly gone minimalist where it really counts. Function over form, right? Their penises are basically the AirPods of anatomy—tiny, sleek, overpriced by confidence, and easy to lose in the sheets. Korean men are dealing with such small stats that Japanese men are now considered well-endowed. They call them “Mandingo-san.” Respectfully, of course.